a fun weekend! Sat: sentosa(underwater world + dolphin lagoon) Sun: ktv at Ehub with xj,wh,xx,carol!
tomorrow Monday, driving lesson. then i wonder what i should do! :(
i wish for the simplest thing, but it never come true. so why i make myself wishing for something more important, more precious to me because it just never going to happen?
night to the world out there. hope i can sleep well tonight!
Saturday, May 30, 2009 @ 11:14 PM
i usually don't believe.
but this time round, i guess i got no choice but to believe.
:(
也许，我没有放下。 心情真的有一点点复杂。
Friday, May 29, 2009 @ 9:39 PM
i can't stop myself from thinking of IM, FI, MM, MSM.
shit. i hope i can get everything 50 plus. but i guess its impossible already.
i feel like a piece of shit suddenly. :(
@ 9:06 AM
i am so lost. . . on what to do. . .
Thursday, May 28, 2009 @ 3:30 AM
DD couldn't sleep.
i guess i am still worry about it. but. everything is over.
am i right? all i can do now, is to pray hard everything is going to turn out fine.
i guess step by step, i will feel better! but when the big day soon approaches, everything will be back to square one again. sometime, why must life be so torturing? and whats the meaning of life?
driving lesson later at 10.20am. i better get some sleep!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 @ 7:02 PM
super duper dumb day today.
cramps during exams. my ipod spoilt before i enter the exams hall, and i thought it would be alright after exams, but no! my handphone pouch is lost after that. . .
:(
well. paper was. i don't know how to describe it. okay? not okay? i don't know. i feel dumb for not converting the the return into percentage, like 50%. but leaving it in decimal instead, like 0.5. i feel stupid for doing wrongly for the momentum strategy questions. i use the wrong formulae when i DID practice for it. :( i feel dumb alright,very DUMB! :(
but IT'S OVER! IT'S THE HOLIDAYS! bye bye EXPO HALL 1 AND HALL 3! whoo, i am not going to step into expo for this week (YES, this means i would rather miss the food fair or what)
i will pray for the results in August (but i am going to enjoy it since its my birthday and most of my friends birthday month). i hope i can pass everything! i hope. i pray.
and one more exams upcoming. which the more i think the more i feel that i will fail on my first try. . .
whatever, its the holidays! lets enjoy! :)
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 @ 9:32 AM
TOMORROW!
:D :D :P :P
Monday, May 25, 2009 @ 10:11 AM
2 more days to go. but i am not happy at all.
please let the paper be manageable. please.
Sunday, May 24, 2009 @ 9:16 AM
nothing seems to go into my head for investment management.
i feel so dead. . .
Thursday, May 21, 2009 @ 9:15 AM
it still haunts me badly, deeply.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 @ 3:07 PM
i feel like shouting 3 down, 1 more to go. but . . .
i don't have the mood. the paper was crap. no enough time to finish. let alone letting my brain to generate what i have studied. :( i feel so shit after i left 20 mins for the last essay question. i feel so shit after coming out of the exam hall. i feel so shit on the way home.
i don't know if i am contented with a pass only for all my subjects so far. i feel so crap. all the 3 papers so far, why so crap. why?
once you pull yourself up, you fall down once again. i feel dumb, shit, stupid.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009 @ 9:35 AM
i feel so screwed up for tomorrow paper. nothing absolutely going into my head!
and i wonder how long do they still need to renovate the unit! i want to study at home. i don't want to travel elsewhere bringing the books and notes!
and its another 8 more days to go! and after tomorrow. Library and Airport is going to be my best friend till next week. if not, i will go insane! :(
till then!
Sunday, May 17, 2009 @ 7:53 PM
Poem Of Love Accounting
In the journal paper of my heart, I have written a journal entry. Debiting your love and your affection.
Darling you write the narration, Your first love, I had already adjusted On the ledger-folio column, Any way our relations are true assets
On double-entry system In addition, our love is true real and tangible You debit-what comes in, I credit-what goes out.
Your beauty is the capital of business. My eyes are stock in trade. Let us enter into transaction, You secretly give me a trade discount, I openly give you a cash discount And thus my partner, Our trading and profit-loss account will show super profit
My dear let us reconcile, all our errors and total the trial balance of our affairs arithmetically without maintaining any suspense account.
In the balance sheet of our life Our children will be our true assets and liabilities!
If they are boys, they will be our sundry debtors If they are girls, they will be our sundry creditors
But if we have a boy and a girl, Our balance sheet will tally automatically!
***********************************************
thank you my friend! :) thanks for cheering me with the sms-es especially for the someone. though i know you will never read my blog. i know you are disappoint with your love life currently. but hey, don't worry. i believe the guy you want will be there for you soon. you are really better off without that person which is 100% seriously in my opinion. if he can treat you like these, he will treat you like that in the future too. you have given him umpteen times of chances, he don't cherish it, its his fault for not cherishing you, not your fault. so please don't keep blaming yourself, please! and so now, keep your options open, eyes big big,go find someone 100x better than him. haha. thanks my girlfriend! :)
and its.... back to FI. and 10 more days to go!
Saturday, May 16, 2009 @ 8:23 AM
EDITED @ 10.13am!
i tried to sleep yesterday. but the moment i close my eyes, i think of msm and mm. . . and the thought that i would fail msm is just like . . . and mm might get a lil better than msm is also like. . . arghhh. i still can't stop thinking of the Markov question. i still can't stop thinking whether did i calculate wrongly for other questions. :( i still can't stop thinking whether i would fail this subjects. . .
:(
arghhhhhhhhhhhh. WHATEVER.
get lost all those images! 2 more super important papers to go. i don't want to fail. . .
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.
Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.
"Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice.
I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase.
The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.
"It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."
"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."
I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said.
"You have to make a living," she answered.
"There are other passengers."
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware—beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
enough said. its inspiring.
Friday, May 15, 2009 @ 3:12 PM
i don't know how to describe it.
i just feel like getting a gun and then shoot myself to death. or maybe feel like jumping down from the 9th floor right now.
i don't know what to say. people get it right, i get it wrong. i know the problem lies with me for being so stupid. but . . . i really did practice. i really did practice. why i can do it for MM matrix, why i can't get it this time round for MSM?
and when the exams over, i was shaking my head at my friend. and her first immediate response was, "will die meh, i thought that question can get correct." that i don't feel like responding anymore.
i feel so stupid. i feel so dumb. and i don't know how long i am going to cry tonight to get myself to sleep once again. . .
:'(
but i will try not to cry. no, i will not cry. and yes, i will not cry.
:) yesterday was not a good day. no appetite, everything that i ate, just came out of mouth. i don't know is it because i am stress, or anxious until i am like that. the urge to vomit is always there before i going to perform, for exams, or even for presentation! but yesterday i don't know why it happen, but i just feel like that after i . . . and at night i couldn't sleep, just turn and toss. and beg myself to sleep, which i did it in the end! :)
but anyway, i have straighten out my thoughts. forget about it already. my friend was rather taken aback by my thoughts. LOL! but to me. i really get over things easily. and i got no time to think of all this things because there's still lots of things to study! and i think and hope my appetite will regain today! :)
the renovation still have not stop despite they have renovate for months! bahh, back to MSM revision! i want to score the A back for this sub! please make this paper do-able! hahaha. :)
till then! 13 more days to go!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 @ 12:51 PM
i still feel the urge to cry. and was even upset after i . . . [not of the exam paper] but i guess i expected what is suppose to change.
but big girls don't cry. really, big girls don't cry.
:'(
@ 10:12 AM
i don't allow myself to cry because of this. in the past i would,but this time round, i wouldn't.
like what my mom and friends who have told me,can pass can already. i guess this is so true. after all, the paper was. . .
how funny life is. when you're studying, you want to work. because we don't want to take exams. and when we are working, we want to study because working is just so terrible at the same time.
would i turn back and smile and miss all the mugging, all the stress, all the studying, and life of being a student.. i think i would.
and what do i see ahead of me? i dont' know.
Msm on Friday! hope the paper will be alright!
and 14 more days to go! :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 @ 7:06 PM
:( don't need to comfort me already.
i stare at the paper. don't know which question to start with.
and i left freaking 30 mins for 2 more questions. and i anyhow write anything for the econometric question. because really no TIME! :( anything that comes into my head, i just write. the model, i don't even know correct. the last part of this question which i did studied, i forgotten the formulaes! and even those questions i do, i also don't know whether correct.
i know i tell myself its over. but i tell you, it says easier than to be done. i know i should look forward and concentrate on my last three papers. but . . .
and whoever think the paper is alright, or okay. please just don't tell me this.
BAHHH I FEEL SO SHIT LAH. :(
@ 8:29 AM
later. 2.30pm.
i am so so so so scared now. and it seems that i have forgotten lots of thing.
=(
pray that the paper is manageable. pray i know how to do! pray for me and everyone!
Sunday, May 10, 2009 @ 12:41 PM
Happy Mother's Day to all mommy in the world! :)
Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 9:36 AM
raining super heavily now. will be very cold in the lib. so i decided not to go. and hope i will be motivated to do past year paper!
4 more days to go to first paper. 19 more days to end of paper.
Thursday, May 07, 2009 @ 2:28 PM
super tired. shagged. 20 more days!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009 @ 9:22 PM
i hate you. seriously i should use the word hate, instead of the word dislike this time round. i know hate is seriously a very strong word. but i am sorry, i need to use this word.
ignorance maybe is the best way to make myself a little more happier! 22 more days to go!
Monday, May 04, 2009 @ 6:35 PM
quite productive day today! seriously i need this motivation to keep me going all the way till 27th of May.
hang on, its just 23 more days! which is 3 weeks or more!
ganbatte! :)
Saturday, May 02, 2009 @ 12:30 PM
for you and me to find out. for you and me to know. the truth and all.
i wonder why too. alright. back to hits the newspapers before hitting the books again!
let me live in my empty space for now. as long as my dreams don't shattered, i will be fine, i believe.
and don't let me fall sick at this point in time, when i need to study and all. let my sore throat and flu (common flu) recover soon. and the swine flu outbreak which origins from Mexico this time is really just so scary. :(
okay. study hard!
Profile
DeDuan / DD
23, LPS, CSS, TP, SIM, 23/08/1986
shy, independent/dependent, perfectionist
music, piano, shopping, family & friends make up her life
loves cheescakes & chocolates,beach & stars wish for honours(hopefully), driving license, travel around the world, happily ever after, get a good job, diamonds, digital camera
